How easy is it to stay on your own trajectory? I am wondering how many of my decisions are influenced by what other people are doing and whether that is a good or bad thing.
The above painting is called ‘Space to Reflect’ and appears to me to portray a reflective place just beyond the viewer’s reach but within sight. A few more steps and we will be there, surrounded by the gentle light and colours. The framing around the edges of the painting marks a boundary, guiding the viewer towards the middle space almost like the guard-rails of a bowling lane making sure the ball does not drift off its target. The colours on these surrounding edges are more opaque and the shapes solid to ensure nothing can get through to distract the viewer from the place beyond, where rest and reflection can be found. In contrast, the space itself is boundaryless where thoughts and imagination can expand as far as they need.
I know we need some structure in our lives but there are times when this feels like a restriction on expansive thought; a repeated clipping of the wings so that although flight happens it is limited. If I don’t have breaks from these structured times, I feel as if I might one day forget how to let my thoughts fly. I might eventually lose the will or the skills to try. That is why I am continually reminding myself or being reminded externally, to stop, slow down, think, reflect. I need to incorporate unstructured time in my life’s rhythms and patterns.
In this 21st century life, we have exposure to more and more and more…of everything! It has its advantages of course but we need to learn how to be blinkered as well. It is important we have a deeper knowledge of our selves than we have had to before because there is so much pulling us away from ourselves. We are seeing how easy it is to be influenced by each other with the term ‘Influencers’ being applied to a growing number of people. If we are always trying to be like someone else, how long will it be before we forget who we are as unique individuals. There are contradictory messages being bandied around to ‘be like me’ as well as ‘be yourself’!
I am thankful to be of an age where I have some life experience and wisdom to see how to extract myself from this element of social culture but I know I am not entirely immune from it either. It can creep in to your thought patterns insidiously and therefore influence your behaviour.
Having regular time to stop, extract myself from all that is influential, and find my own thoughts and connection with ‘me’, is what ultimately raises my consciousness to press the reset button. It can sometimes feel like coming up for air after having a bit of a panic underwater. At first you gasp, but eventually realise you’re ok and there is plenty of air to breathe. It can feel like a huge relief when you get to that space and find you can finally relax.
For me, the physical space around is important. I need to be able to expand my body into the space around it. Wide open places like fields, the coast, the top of a hill are where I go to allow my brain to un-crumple. When my eyes can see the huge expanse of sky above me, or the horizon beyond me, I feel able to give space to all the thoughts and clutter in my mind. Then, I can see what is valuable and what is superfluous or damaging or distracting. I can sort through them and throw away what I don’t need.
The adverse effects of social media and having contact with and awareness of what so many other people are doing can be detrimental to the connection we have with our own needs and potential. I am not anti social media but I grapple with ways to manage it so I can continue to enjoy the benefits of being involved in what is often a wonderful online community. Sticking with your own beliefs, self knowledge and the application of these, can feel risky sometimes. What if I’m wrong and don’t follow along with the majority? Can I cope with the consequences of that possibility? In my experience, when I’ve trusted my gut, intuition or whatever you want to call it, things have gone the way they were supposed to or better and I have experienced unexpected joys. Interesting that we refer to bravery as having the ‘guts’ to do something. It means we listened.
The thing is, we will only hear that inner voice if we go to that space to reflect, whatever or wherever that is for each of us.